There are always two sides to every story. We know this and yet it is very easy for us to become extremely one-sided. Have you ever left a conversation thinking that you had communicated your heart and been understood, only to find out later that they heard something completely different that what you intended to say? Have you heard the story of the same incident from two different people and wondered if they were talking about the same thing? I guess we are all a little biased…
It is very hard to be objective no matter much effort you put into it. We have to admit we carry biases no matte who we are. But this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to see things from others’ point of view. I think true balance is impossible (we will always experience variation and change), but we should always be striving toward balance, especially in matters that shape our worldview. What we believe about God, love, people, and happiness (I could go on) determines how we live our lives so it is important to periodically evaluate our perspective.
Have you noticed that the most prominent stories of love in our culture are centered around either conquest or loss? Think about many of the “love” songs you hear on the radio (or whatever you use to listen to music these days). Almost any song about a relationship or romance is about the pain of wanting someone or the pain of losing someone. Love and pain seem to be closely connected (which might not be too far off!). Perhaps even your strongest memories from your past center around love you lost, or love you could have shared with someone but didn’t.
Our memories and experiences are much of what shape us to be who we are. However, this “ungraspable” philosophy is a lopsided view of love, and it may be causing us to have a skewed perspective on what love is. Love can in fact be known, experienced and treasured. It isn’t an elusive ghost of the thing that will haunt us forever.
It is sad that there are so few songs written about the love we have and we still want, even after years of struggle and pain. Or the love we didn’t lose and the reward we experience for a life of consistency and faithfulness. Maybe it’s as simple as marketing, and companies know that people will listen to what they can relate to (After all, who can’t relate to wanting something they don’t have?) For what it’s worth, I think we could all use more reminders that we are loved by many, including God, and we have plenty to be grateful for.